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Updated: Jan 14, 2022

Do you have a bucket list?

I’ve always enjoyed making lists and ticking things off. Packing lists for holidays, Christmas lists, books to read and things to buy.

18 months before I was 40 I put together a list of things I wanted to achieve and experience before I reached that milestone. I’m glad to say I managed, despite the restriction, to do most of them, apart from some of the travel ones – they’ve been relegated to my new before-45-list.

1- Stand under a waterfall. Did this on new years day 2020, it was painfully cold and I only stayed under for a second. Might try again in the summer.

2- Learn EFT- the emotional freedom technique, or tapping. I studied for a certificate in this, and would recommend it to anyone! There’s more information coming up in another blog post.

3- Sew a dress and wear it. I came up with the design, a mixture between a bubble dress skirt and a wrap dress top, then measured up, using an existing dress as the pattern. I studied dress making and tailoring in college a long time ago, so managed to put a zip in, and dart the waist to fit a bit better. I wore in for a day in the house, but one day, when I can go out, I’ll wear it to somewhere interesting.

4- Dance like no one’s watching. I used to love, love, love dancing. In clubs and pubs, for hours at a time, not caring about anything or anyone else. I missed it, but without drugs and loud bass, jumping about the kitchen didn’t really cut it. Then I heard of Ecstatic dance! A group lead by a magical woman who guides you through movement and a musical journey, while blindfolded, removing the ego and judgement. It’s liberating, a little strange at first, but once you forget you’re sober, it’s fantastic. In the end, everyone’s lying on the floor, exhausted crying to the panpipes. Then, you can drive home, much better than shivering in a horrible party with randoms you just met trying to figure out how to get home with 25p in your purse.

5- Brush up on my tarot readings. I’ve had cards since I was 15, the Alistair Crowley Thoth set, and used them in phases over the years. It had been a while, but during the first lockdown I did some online readings for friends. I had forgotten how accurate they always are! Then I remembered that’s why I shouldn’t do reading for myself. The accuracy scares me, and I don’t really want to know what’s ahead of me. I like to choose my path, and to feel like it’s always up to me if I want to change it!

6- Make spell candles. The ideas for these had been running through my mind for a long time, I just hadn’t made the time to do it. Then I was gifted with those 4 months off work, so I stared putting together recipes in line with the moon and astrology, using herbs, crystals and oils. They were a big hit on etsy, and numonday, selling out of every kind. I made some more for friends and family at Christmas, and plan to create some new ones soon.

7- Swim in the sea. When I was a kid, I swam in everything. Lochs, ponds and puddles, huge rivers, rapids with white foam on the river Spey, burns, streams and ‘bottomless’ places with myths of lost tractors, whirlpools and dead bodies. I learned to swim in the sea, on the north coast of Scotland, snorkelled in the Mediterranean, paddled in a salt flat in Germany, jumped out of a boat in a duck pond, floated on my back in cold brown Scottish burns, and jumped into an old sluice that apparently held sheep skeletons. I loved it all, but then I was an adult, and jumping into any water you see doesn’t appear on your priority list at all. I’d look out at the sea, glistening in the sun, or dark with rippling waves, and still feel drawn to it, but it just wasn’t something I did anymore. Then, the longing got too much and a waded into the sea up to my waist, and realised I feel the cold now in a way I never did all those years ago. So, I bought a wet suit, and I’ve never looked back. Over the last year, I’ve been in the forth, lochs, reservoirs and the beautiful blue Atlantic where I first learned to swim. Next on my list is loch Ness and a midnight swim in the moonlight.

8- Start a blog. Here we are!

9- Visit Barcelona, Luckily I managed to get there early last year, and I’m so glad I did. What a beautiful city. We visited the zoo, the old town, the marina and aquarium over the two days.

10- Get a pair of original Moon Boots. I’ve wanted these since the mid 90’s, I remember seeing them in magazines and finding them in schu in Aberdeen, but at £110 back then, they just had to stay on my ‘one day’ list. Then while browsing depop a few months ago, there they were! In my size, navy blue, and only £30. Now they’ll probably sit in my cupboard til my daughter wants to use them for fancy dress in a few years time, but hey, I ticked them off a very old list so I’m happy.

11- Make a vegan scotch egg. I’ve been vegan for a few years now, and the rest of my family have followed. I don’t miss meaty things, but I think they occasionally do, so I like to try and replicate things sometimes. I’ve deep fried vegan smoked sausages and black pudding into chippy suppers, made bacon from seitan and wellingtons from mushroom and soya. But my favourite, and biggest challenge was the scotch egg! It took all day, literally about 8 hours. I was making it up as I went, without a recipe so there’s a few things I’d do differently next time, but everyone was blown away by the result.

12- Publish a novel, and start a trilogy. The first book in the series went out into the world last august, and the second will be released on the 18th of April 2021.

13- Open a publishing house. I started White Fern Publishing late 2020, and recruited my first few authors by early 2021. We’ve now successfully launched 7 authors, 6 books, with 4 more to come over the next few months.

14- Cook from a recipe book. This is quite a basic one, you’re probably thinking ‘that’s just an every day part of life’ but the truth is, I’d never followed a recipe properly. I’ve always substituted, guessed, missed things out or just made up stuff. Since going vegan, I’ve been inspired to really follow the details properly, and what do you know? It makes a big difference. Haha.

15- Dance naked in a stone circle. I’ve made it into a couple of standing stone circles, but not managed to be naked yet. I do have plans very soon with a friend who’s also up for a bit of moon bathing, so fingers crossed I can tick this one off. (Edit, this has been done now! Very liberating, and I lost a sock.)

16- Make a pond. I’ve moved twice since I made the list, and managed to make one at each house. My current pond is small, but has 4 goldfish that somehow survived under thick ice over winter.

17- Find treasure. I’ve not found a stash of roman coins or a pictish gold torc yet, but I have been lucky enough to find a lot of wonderful things over the last year and a half. Victorian china dolls, Edwardian clay smoking pipes, 400 year old pirate glass, rare purple sea glass, all kinds of animal bones, vintage glassware, geodes and crystal clusters.

18- Swim in moonlight. Not done this yet, but as the weathers warming up, and I’m getting to know more people with similar interests, it wont be long.

19- Take DMT, this hasn’t happened yet. I really want to experience it, but I don’t know where to get it, and to be honest I’m a bit scared. My ultimate version of this would be to go on a retreat, or somewhere in the jungle and take auyawashka in ceremony. One day.

20- Breath Fire. I did it! I researched it online, watched a few YouTube videos and bought a kit. I tried the safe method, using corn-starch, nothing happened apart from a mouthful of glue. My friend was recording it for me, and we’d made the effort to go somewhere special, so I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. I just went for it and took a big glug of liquid paraffin, then whooshed it out of my mouth. The first one didn’t catch, but the second was fantastic! I recon it’s perhaps one of the silliest things I’ve done for a long time, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to anyone without some training or someone around who knows what they are doing, but wow, it was so exhilarating!

21- Create my own set of Oracle cards. I designed the Light Your Own Way deck early this year, and they are selling well! Last week I posted out decks to Toronto in Canada, Florida, Pennsylvania, England, Scotland and Wales. Find them on Etsy here.

22- Create a 5-day challenge. I used the same elements and ideas as the oracle cards, and created a 5 day mini-course that will help you find out what it is you really want to do, get rid of some of the blocks that are stopping you, and how to keep motivated.

23- Create and teach an online course on creativity. This is happening too! There are 3 different levels to fit any budget. Over 5 weeks, you’ll use the elements of earth, air, fire, water and magic, in your own life, to find your passion, stop worrying about what others think, start living how you want, and remove the blockages to your creativity.

24- Do a mystical photoshoot in the woods. I've wanted to do this for so long, then just a couple of weeks before my birthday, the very talented Kelly Malcom invited me onto her goddess project. I was asked to pick a point on the wheel of the year, and a costume theme to embody that energy. I made my costume around Ostara combined with Aries. It was so much fun!

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